The bold step of losing your virginity comes with a lot of misconceptions and questions you might not feel comfortable talking about with a friend or relative. You may have heard different stories and myths about the first time a person has sex. We are sure it is not the way you think it is. You should be prepared for when you decide to do it. While your reasons are clear, and not just because everyone else is doing it. The key facts about losing your virginity are more than the sex education notes; it may just surprise you.
What is virginity?
Virginity holds different meanings to people; it is said to mean never being penetrated with a penis but have had other sexual encounters. It could be that you have never had any form of sexual activity – either vaginal sex, oral sex, or anal penetration. On the other hand, some people feel you only lose your virginity when the hymen gets broken.
With a more practical approach, the state of the hymen does not determine your virginity status because the hymen is just like tissue in the body. It is unique because it covers the vaginal opening.
It is not only sexual penetration that can tear the hymen; intense physical activities like a workout, or physical trauma can also tamper with it – the hymen is not as hard or tight as you may think.
This shows that losing one’s virginity is more than just penis penetration. Some people do not consider themselves virgins if they have encountered penetration from sex toys, fingers, and oral stimulation.
What to expect
Most people always have an image in their head of how their first time should go based on what they have seen on tv or read in erotic novels. This is not often the case as people lose their virginity in weird ways. That is why you should be ready before you decide to go all the way.
Losing your virginity usually starts from arousal that causes physical reactions like perspiration, erect penis, swollen and wet vaginal, which is the body responding temporarily to stimulation of the arousal. The penis will need to be erect to penetrate the vaginal – you can also use a sex toy if that is your choice. The vaginal in turn needs to be ready to receive it; this is why it becomes swollen and open for the sex.
If you are a woman having sex for the first time, the vaginal might require more lubrication for penetration. Lack of this may cause some discomfort, but that does not mean it should hurt. The discomfort can be due to inadequate lubrication from the vaginal. It can easily be remedied by more foreplay like kissing and exploring your partner’s body, or you can use a water-based lube, which is compulsory for anal sex.
When penetration finally occurs, the hymen stretches to give way to the penis; this causes light bleeding due to the impact. You should not bleed heavily except something went wrong.
The rest of the intercourse should feel good and go smoothly onwards, and you should be free to discuss any request you may have with your partner afterward. Although it might not be the best time to play out all the sex scenes in your head, you can both still explore your sexuality and let the process flow naturally.
If requests are comfortable for both of you to try, by all means, fulfill your desires for a more pleasurable experience. If you are uncomfortable with the requests, be open to refuse, and your partner should understand. The beauty of your first time should not be tampered with by any form of coercion.
As for reaching an orgasm, you may not attain it at the point of losing your virginity. Of the two sexual organs involved in the act, the penis is more likely to reach orgasm than the vaginal. Climaxing is a bit more difficult for the vaginal, but with a level of comfort and precision, you can achieve it.
Also Read: The Best Birth Control Methods and Options
What happens after Sexual desires?
After surfing the waves of pleasure, the signs of arousal will dissipate. The sexual haze or glow you have probably heard people talk about is more psychological than it’s physical. Sexual intercourse is a private moment, and your first time should be as such; unless you feel comfortable talking to someone about it.
For whatever reason you finally decide to do it, remember sex is a dynamic activity that may change the way you view yourself and your partner. It is not a strange occurrence that you may want to change your mind in the process of losing your virginity; you have every right to do this if it doesn’t feel right. After all, it is your body; no one should force you to do what you don’t want to.
In conclusion, the act of losing your virginity only happens once in a lifetime; do not be pressured into doing it until you’re ready. That way, it will feel like a brand new chapter of your life as you gain the experience of connecting with someone. You would also enjoy the perks of orgasm and exploring your body; rather than feeling like you lost something important.
People get pregnant and sexually transmitted diseases just on their first try, so don’t forget to use protection. A lot of the time, your first attempt might not turn out great despite the efforts and plans you might have put in place. Not to worry, you can always try again – the next time won’t be like the first. Everyone’s experience is different; you cannot make any decisions based on what you heard. All you have to do is prepare yourself mentally and physically for the exciting experience that may be awkward.