Category Archives: Health & Wellness

What Are Open Relationships? Practices & Downside

Open Relationships

Image source: Bonobology – Rules for Open Relationships.

Let get a definition of relationship before diving into open relationships. In certain relationships, one or both parties involved can comfortably chase sexual, physical, and emotional attraction for other people to fulfill their sexual desires without developing a new relationship.

It is a fun way to test new waters without feeling guilty. But it shouldn’t be confused with a way to help a failing relationship. It usually works better with partners who have a strong foundation of trust.

Societal and peer pressure have been a measure for people to decide how their relationships and sexuality should be. That shouldn’t be the case as a healthy relationship should be about partners that make each other happy.

What is an Open Relationship? 

Open relationships fall under the classification of consensually non-monogamous relationships. In simple terms, monogamy – which is sticking with one partner – does not apply here. 

They are often associated with swingers, where people in relationships have sex with random people at events and it ends there. 

Open relationships can also be confused with polyamory, where both partners are free to have more than one committed romantic partner. They are not so far from the truth as an open relationship is similar to both swinger and polyamory because the sex or romantic attraction they chase is purely causal. You can seek pleasure from other people, but you are not looking to get into another relationship.

Although it is fun to practice open relationships, people are not so receptive to it. They believe in the old-fashioned and proper way things should be. That shouldn’t be the case as in finding your sexuality you might want to explore and test around a few things to see what works best for you. 

Nowadays, people are more comfortable talking about themselves and their relationships, and that is cool. 

Also Read: How does being in love with oneself affect one’s mental state?

Why do people practice open relationships? 

A lot of the time, people resolve to keep an open relationship because they think it is the only way to remain with a cheating partner. It often starts with crushing on someone, to probably an affair. To avoid messy situations like these, people choose to go into an open relationship; it is better to inform your partner about your feelings and any sexual attractions you might be having for other people. That way, you can discuss your hopes to explore it rather than being caught cheating.  

In most long-term relationships, as the years go by, the spark and attraction tend to diminish as you go on searching for ways to bring back the passion. Someone new waltz into your life and you get all caught in a new attraction and feel like going for it. At this point, you will need to converse with your partner and both agree. Based on the level of love and trust you both share, it shouldn’t test the foundation of your relationship. 

People also choose to go into open relationships because they see it as beneficial in some ways when done with consensus.

  • It helps them to pursue new attractions that will excite and satisfy their sexual desires; which in turn might help improve the sex with their partner.
  • It opens up a deep sense of trust that comes from honest communication that gives both partners freedom to explore their sexuality with clear understanding.
  • It also allows you to bare it all to your partner and enjoy sexual pleasures without the fear of cheating and hurting each other.

Are open relationships for me?

Despite the strong backing that monogamous relationships have, it does not appeal to everyone.

The choice to be in an open relationship may seem tempting to you over the years as you may not feel the need to be with just one partner – because of marriage. Some people go into it as a result of certain experiences that made them explore the possibility of having more.

If you’re thinking of starting an open relationship then you have to communicate with your partner. But first, consider the status of your relationship, so you know how to approach the conversation. You should bring up the issue at the early stages of getting to know each other when it is still casual and your choice for non-monogamy should be clear. This way, it is left for other partners involved to decide to stay or leave. 


For married and committed couples who develop the sense of tilting towards an open relationship, you have to be more careful about the situation. This is because, at the initial stage of entering the relationship, monogamy was the idea. So it is only fair both partners stay faithful to one another. Thread with caution, be honest, and only pursue the new attraction when both partners have agreed to the idea of an open relationship while respecting the love and foundation of the primary relationship.

The downside of open relationships 

Exploring your sexual desires with someone new can be so enjoyable, people tend to lose focus of the whole idea. This comes with certain risks such as:

The major risk involved is jealousy; people do ugly things when they get jealous. This is why before going into an open relationship, be sure you can be comfortable with your partner being with other people. Another is developing bad feelings towards your partner, which originates from the new sexual experiences you had with other people.

There is also a risk of sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy; this is why you should always practice safe sex. The freedom open relationships bring can make partners have a change in emotions. The best way to avoid these situations is to set physical, emotional, and sexual boundaries that you both can be comfortable with.

In conclusion, any form of relationship you choose to be in should be a source of happiness. Nothing should make you pursue a monogamous relationship if it’s not for you. Be sure you are not just doing it out of boredom.

Live your truth, it is your life and you should do what makes you happy without deliberately hurting anyone.

Best Tips for Safe and Healthy BDSM

Tips for safe and healthy BDSM

When people hear the word BDSM, what comes to mind is the movie fifty shades of grey, well you can’t fault them because most people were in the dark about such sexual practices until they saw the movie. 

The acronym BDSM means bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. This sexual practice might seem new to you but it dates back to ancient Greece, the Kama Sutra (300 A.D.), and 15th century Europe. BDSM can be practiced by people in a healthy relationship and should not be considered abusive.

For people who want to introduce BDSM to their sexual life to spice things up, there are a few things regarding safety you need to know about this intriguing practice; this way, you will prevent a minor or life-threatening accident – and also an awkward conversation with an ER nurse. 

Before we dive into safe tips for BDSM, let’s understand the medical and psychological aspects of this sexual preference. 

Not so long ago, mental health experts were not sure about the sanity of people who practice BDSM, they assumed it was a type of mental illness. Researches were carried out and stigmatization associated with this kink was addressed. 

There are individuals who suffer from sexual disorders, an example is sexual sadism disorder which involves inflicting psychological or physical pain on another person for sexual pleasure. 

What differentiates BDSM from this disorder mentioned above is consent. In BDSM, all the parties involved are fully aware of what’s happening and they approve of it. 

Also, during BDSM, the dominant does not cause significant distress or impair the functions of the submissive. 

Psychological Impact

People who practice BDSM are psychologically fine and chose this kink over regular sex because they find regular sex boring or unfulfilling. Such people do not necessarily need to have had a bad sexual experience or difficulty having sex, they just want something a bit more intense and different. 

In this time and age, more people are practicing BDSM, and they are happy, satisfied, and in healthy relationships. 

Forms of BDSM

When it comes to BDSM, your choice of play and style is endless; you can get as creative as you want with your partner. For you to enjoy the best of BDSM, trust, respect, and exchange of power comes into play. 

A form of BDSM is role-playing where each partner acts out a role that involves a dominant and a submissive. Some roleplays are simple and others might require a script – all of these are based on your imagination and how much you can explore. Some of the ideas for role-playing are:

  • Owner and pet
  • Kidnapper and victim
  • Law enforcement and prisoner
  • Royal and commoner

Also, not all BDSM practice involves inflicting extreme pain on your partner; there is the light BDSM that includes playful and pleasurable activities like blindfolds, tickling, playful bum smacks, being tied to the bedpost with scarves, and making verbal demands. 

The hardcore BDSM can include caning, whipping, dripping hot wax on the skin, tying with ropes, and many more. 

Embracing healthy BDSM practices. 

Establish consent

Consent is what distinguishes BDSM from a sexual disorder, stating what you are both willing to do and how far you are willing to go before you begin helps to prepare both of you. 

As a submissive partner, you are giving consent and control to your dom, if you feel unsafe or threatened during the act, you can speak up and take back control. 

Pick someone you trust

BDSM requires that both partners trust each other to care and respect limits and boundaries. It’s advisable you only practice this kink with someone you absolutely trust and feel safe with – not just a random person you met on a bondage website. Due diligence must be carried out especially if you intend to be a sub. 

Be sober

Sometimes people who are drunk and have vanilla sex get hurt, how much more BDSM. You don’t want to put yourself in a position where your partner is too drunk to untie you from lack of blood circulation, or they accidentally choke you to death. 

Use safe words or signals

The use of safe words is a way of telling your partner you have gotten to your limit. The sub uses agreed phrases or signals to inform the dom of discomfort, pain, or an end to the game. Common safe words used are red, pineapple, peach, banana.

Learn to say NO and be okay with it

As a sub, you must know how to say “NO” when you don’t like something and you want it to stop. Also, as a dom, you should be okay with hearing the word “NO.” Don’t try to force your sub to take more of what they don’t like. 

Talk about sex after having it

Talking about sex after the session helps you understand what was going on in your partner’s mind at a particular time. Deducing what might be going on with them from their body language might not be enough, ask them if they liked something or not. 

Avoid compression around the throat

Whatever you do during sex, avoid putting pressure on the windpipe or constricting the carotid arteries as this can be very dangerous. If you must use a collar, ensure two fingers can comfortably fit between the collar and your partner’s neck. 

Know your toys

If you want to use toys during your play, ensure you know how they are used safely to avoid accidents. If you are using ropes, you can have a pair of scissors nearby for emergencies. 

Set boundaries

You might want to try something that your partner is not prepared to do; setting up boundaries before you begin helps you to know what you can and cannot do. 

Clean up

After your steamy sessions, you want to clean your toys and every other material used. Keeping these things clean ensures neither or your partner gets infected – UTI might not be life-threatening, but it is uncomfortable and will affect your sex life. 

BDSM play can be enjoyed by everyone as long as consent is given and you adhere to the rules above.

Best Tips To Have Longer Lasting Orgasm

Tips for longer lasting orgasm

Everyone loves a good orgasm either with a partner or solo. A great orgasm helps you relax and relieve tension while creating a feeling of closeness with the other party. 

Orgasm is normally associated with sex because a sexual encounter is expected to end in a climax but you don’t necessarily need to have sex to attain orgasm. 

Orgasm for women and men are slightly different because of the biological makeup of the body. Where women can attain multiple orgasms in one romp, most men can only attain one. 

Aside from women being able to get multiple climaxes in one sexual session, each orgasm can last for up to twenty seconds unlike that of men that are only three seconds long. 

How then can climax be prolonged? Must the good feeling end so soon? Before touching on ways to attain longer-lasting orgasms, let’s have a look at what happens to the body during orgasm

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What happens to me during an orgasm?

During arousal, blood rushes to the genitals, this blood rush causes several nerve endings in your buttocks, pelvic, and thighs to become tense. During the climax, your body releases the tension in these nerve endings in series of pleasurable waves; these waves consist of big and small orgasms.

While orgasming, the brain blocks out all other thoughts and focuses completely on the climax sensation – at that moment, you lose your awareness of sounds and smell. 

Why do people orgasm?

People generally associate the male climax with ejaculation because men release semen during orgasm; it is uncertain what the purpose of the female climax is but there are some theories:

Some say the vaginal contractions women experience during climax helps to pull semen towards the cervix for procreation. 

Another theory is that in prehistoric women, the hormones released during orgasm help their ovaries release an egg. In modern times, women now independently ovulate. 

It is also believed that orgasms can be used as a bargaining tool for reinforcement in relationships to keep partners insatiable and coming back for more. 

Benefits of orgasms

Aside from the pleasure enjoyed for orgasm, there are also other benefits you can enjoy from climaxing, some of which are:

1. Better sleep 

After attaining orgasm, your brain produces prolactin hormone that helps you sleep quickly; oxytocin and vasopressin are also produced to help you sleep soundly. 

2. Elevated mood

The oxytocin hormone released during orgasm is called the “feel good” hormone because you literally feel happier post-orgasm. 

3. Strengthens pelvic floor for women

The contraction of the pelvic during orgasm helps to tighten and firm the pelvic floor which is what kegel does for the pelvic. 

4. Gives you healthier skin

Oxytocin released during climax helps to reduce cortisol which is responsible for excess oil production which invariably reduces clog pores and breakouts. 

5. Reduces anxiety

Orgasm helps to elevate your mood and reduce anxiety. Oxytocin hormone produced during sex takes care of this and also helps you sleep. 


How to attain longer-lasting orgasms: 

1. Kegels before sex!

Sex experts advise couples to practice Kegel exercise before sex. Kegels strengthen the pelvic floor by contracting the muscles repeatedly which sends signals to the brain.

The signals from the pelvic floor stimulate the prostate in men and the uterus in women to activate sexual power centers for intense orgasms. 

2. Use lube!

The use of lubricant cannot be overemphasized for higher levels of pleasure and arousal. Most women dry out after a few orgasms, the lube helps to keep the vagina lubricated and increases the number of orgasms you get. 

However, when choosing a lube, pick one that is water-based and contains natural and safe ingredients. 

3. Practice breathing exercise

Breathing in fast and slow heightens your excitement and arousal and helps you remain grounded in the moment. Breathing also relaxes your body, allowing for a deep, intense, and prolonged orgasm. 

4. Practice yoga

When you are fit, it affects your sex life positively. Yoga helps to improve your sexual desire, strengthen your orgasm, and increase your sex drive.

5. Don’t ignore foreplay

Foreplay is the foundation for a great orgasm. When you resist the urge to dive in for immediate satisfaction but instead build the tension with foreplay, the climax from the buildup will be more intense, explosive, and gratifying. 

6. Cuddle, cuddle, cuddle

Some people underestimate the power of cuddling and physical touches. Forms of touching like kissing, hugging, and cuddling all help your brain release oxytocin which increases the intensity of your orgasms.

7. Let your imagination run wild

The mind is a powerful tool and feeding it with lustful thoughts will get you aroused which is a huge factor in achieving longer and lasting orgasms.

8. Edging

Edging, also referred to as peaking, teasing, or surfing is the act of stopping yourself from climaxing when you are on the edge of it; it’s an old treatment for premature ejaculation. 

During edging, you stop yourself from orgasming by cutting off all sexual stimulation for thirty seconds before resuming the process. You will repeat the process until you are ready to cum. 

Edging helps you last longer in bed, allowing you to enjoy an explosive and longer-lasting orgasm when you finally let go.

In conclusion, you deserve to feel sexually satisfied every time, attaining a longer and lasting orgasm is an excellent way of achieving this.

We hope these tips above help you orgasm away.

Tips for Choosing Sexy Lingerie for Your Body Type

best lingerie

Image Source: fashionisers

Lingerie has always been a staple in many women’s wardrobes as it serves different purposes and occasions. Some women buy lingerie because it makes them feel beautiful and sexy, while others, because of its comfort. 

When shopping for your lingerie, your choice should not be restricted to the design or the type of fabric only as different lingerie types fit better on certain body types. 

To purchase lingerie that you fancy and one that suits your shape perfectly, you need to understand the types of body shapes, lingerie styles, and the one that will accentuate your best features.

Below are different body shapes women have been classified to:

Shapes of Lingerie:

The Apple shape

The apple shape is also referred to as the inverted triangle. Women with this body type have broad shoulders, large bust, undefined waistline, narrow hips, slimmer legs, and arms. People with the apple body shape tend to put on weight first in their upper body than the rest. 

The pear shape

The pear shape can also be referred to as the triangle shape. Women with this body type are characterized as having wide hips and butt, slim shoulders, fairly defined waistline, small bust (there are a few exceptions), and slim arms. People with this type of body put on weight first in their lower body. 

The rectangle shape

The rectangle body shape is also referred to as the banana shape, the ruler shape, the straight shape, the athlete shape, or the column. Athletes and models are popularly known to have this shape. 

Women with the rectangle shape are lean, tall, and long – they don’t have any area of their body overly big. This body type is similar to the hourglass but lacks the distinctly tapered-in waist; women with this body type have equal measurements for all sections of their body. 

The hourglass shape

The hourglass is a sort after shape by many women; it is defined as a proportionate bust to hip and a tapered-in waist. Women with the hourglass shape have a bust, a hip of equal size (or almost), a tiny waist, naturally rounded buttocks, slightly rounded shoulders, and legs in proportion with the upper body. 

The round torso

The round body shape is also referred to as the oval shape; it is characterized by a full bust – usually bigger than the rest of the body – narrow hips and a midsection that looks full. Women with this body type will put on weight in their stomach before other areas of the body. 

Now that you know the different body types and have been able to determine where you fit, have a look at the different lingerie styles available. 

Garter belt

The garter belt is a good lingerie option for women dipping their feet into the world of sexiness; it might look complicated, but it’s not. It comes with lacey knee-high socks, suspender belts, a lacey bra or corset, and panties. The suspender belts hold the stockings to the pants. 

Matching sets

The matching lingerie set is one every woman should own. The set incorporates panties and bras of similar design, color, and pattern. When you have a beautiful matching set underneath your cloth, you will feel sexy and confident all through the day. 


The corset is one piece of lingerie that goes way back in history; it was seen as a patriarchal object of power worn by the rich. In recent times, the corset is seen as a restrictive garment that reduces the size of a woman’s waist, hiding any unwanted bulge. 


The bustier is similar to the corset but it places more emphasis on the bust. The bustier is a good choice of lingerie for women with small boobs as it serves as a push-up bra to make the breast look bigger and well-rounded while tapering in the waist to create an alluring figure. 


The teddy lingerie is a one-piece design that looks like a swimsuit; it usually comes in fabrics like satin, lace, leather, or lycra. The teddy lingerie looks sexy and playful at the same time. 



You can never go wrong with a negligee as it suits all body types. It was first discovered in the 18th century in France and is considered a feminine and romantic piece. The negligee is a flirter option you can wear over your lingerie as against your dressing gown.


The baby doll dresses are a great option for women with broad shoulders and narrow waist, the soft strap of the dress will flatter your shoulders while the flouncy bottom will create a balance in your lower body.  


Everyone loves silk and how it feels on the skin. Show off some legs in gorgeous silk matching top and shorts camisole; it is a good choice for summer nights. 


The Chemise is a simple short dress that was made popular in the 1920s. The beautiful piece hangs down from your shoulder and comes in materials like shimmering silk, satin, or delicate cotton. 


Choosing the best lingerie for your body type

The apple shape woman will look stunning in a teddy or babydoll lingerie as it accentuates her bust while creating a balance between her wide shoulders and her lower body. 

When choosing lingerie for the inverted triangle body, don’t be shy of accentuating your tiny waist and narrow shoulders while also showing off your backside. A bustier or a corset can create an illusion of a bigger breast to balance your lower body. 

The triangle shape woman will draw positive attention to her long, lean torso in a bustier, a babydoll dress, or a bodysuit. Tops with tiny straps will also help take away focus from the shoulders. 

A woman with a round torso can create a proportionate look with a sexy negligee that draws attention to her breast and hides her waist and her midsection.

The hourglass woman will look great in almost all lingerie styles because of her tiny waist and fuller curves. To amp up the look, an hourglass shape woman will look stunning in matching sets, corsets, garter belts, and teddies. 

When lingerie shopping, bear in mind that there is something sexy for every body type, all you need is to know what flatters your best features.

Squirting: Everything You Need To Know

Squirting: Everything You Need To Know

The idea of squirting and female ejaculation has always been a fascinating topic and one shrouded in mystery; up until the 90s, people believed squirting is only urine and nothing more. The idea of a woman ejaculating as a man sounds like a sexual unicorn. 

Squirting is different from peeing in so many ways and different women’s body makeup will affect if, and how they can squirt. 

If you are curious about the whole fluid raining process and would want to experience it by either teaching yourself or teaching another, here is a guide to squirting 101 and everything you need to know. 


What is Squirting?

Squirting is the excretion of a type of liquid from the urethra (notice I said urethra and not vagina). The fluid excreted is a combination of urine and prostate-specific androgen which contains urea, uric acid, and creatinine – all present on the lower end of a woman’s urethra. 

Partners of squirters have reported that the fluid smells differently from urine and also tastes different. The taste has been described as sweet or natural. 

How does it feel?

This question doesn’t have a specific response because how it feels differs with different people; although, they have all said something in common, “it felt really good.” Some people say it feels like an orgasm, while others say it’s different – more intense. 

Can everyone attain it?

The question of if every woman with a vulva can squirt is a dicey one as technically, they have the mechanism required to but not every woman has been able to. Studies have shown that only ten to fifty percent of women with a vulva will or have squirted. 

Some women have squirted without knowing because they excreted very little of the fluid while others produce so much, they will need a towel. 

If you have never experienced squirting, don’t put yourself under pressure to achieve the squirting status as being able to squirt isn’t better than not being able to.


Are some positions better for Squirting?

If you are trying to get yourself to squirt either solo or with a partner, positions that stimulate the G-spot and clit simultaneously work better. Some of such positions are:

Doggy style: The doggy position provides you with the right angle to stimulate the front walls of the vagina where the G-spot is with either a penis or a dildo. 

Manual missionary: Penetration with fingers is more likely to get a woman to squirt than a penis or dildo. Fingering alongside cunnilingus has been known to work for some women, while others prefer touching their clitoris themselves while their partner fingers them making the ‘come hither motion.’

Toy play: The use of toys has also been reported to have a positive effect. Toys designed for G-spot play can be used with a partner or alone.


Trying to make yourself squirt:

Making yourself squirt is something you can achieve without a partner if you are someone who squirts – this you can confirm through masturbation. For you to achieve this, you need to:

Relax: for you to squirt, you need to be relaxed both physically and mentally.

Explore your erogenous zones: You need to put yourself in the mood for sex when starting. Touching areas that arouse you with your fingers, or a vibrator will get you prepped up. 

Rub your clitoris: Remember, your clit has a major part to play in helping you squirt, you should stimulate it using either a clit stimulation toy or your fingers.

Locate your G-spot: Your G-spot is easier to locate when you are aroused. Massage your G-spot with a wand or your finger while touching your clit.

Keep going: Some people complain about the urge to pee just before they squirt; if you feel this way, don’t stop, it’s a sign you might get that big squirt you have always wanted. 

Also Read: Which Sex Toy is suitable for me? Find it out!


Making your partner Squirt:

If you want to make your partner squirt, follow the steps stated above but replace their fingers with your mouth and fingers. Avoid putting your partner under pressure to squirt as it doesn’t make them any different from who they are. 


Other things you need to know about Squirting:

Squirting does not come from the vagina

When watching a woman squirt in a video, it’s difficult to tell if the fluid released is coming from her vagina or her urethra. The urethra is close to the vagina and that’s where pee, as well as squirt, comes out of. 

Female ejaculation and squirting are not the same

For some women, squirting, and orgasm happen at the same time, while for others, it happens separately. Orgasm is ejaculation of a small amount of whitish fluid from your urethral glands, while squirting might or might not be orgasm related.  

It is similar to peeing

The fluid excreted during squirting comes from the bladder and it has been described as a watered-down version of the urine. 

You might have squirted unknowingly

A lot of women have squirted involuntarily during foreplay or orgasm. Learning to know the difference is the key.

It is different from what you see in porn

People watch porn and they want to judge how good or bad they are at sex based on this, forgetting that porn is a script acted and not everything they portray is real.

A woman can have a great orgasm without squirting, don’t be after the squirt only. Focus on ensuring your partner is totally satisfied by giving them good orgasms with or without squirting.

It can enhance orgasm in some people

For women who attain orgasm at the same time they squirt, it can be very intense. The feeling has been likened to how men feel when they ejaculate while having an orgasm. 

In conclusion, squirting is not a myth and it is something every woman can experience. Learning whether you can squirt is a good way to know more about your body and if you find out you cannot, it doesn’t make you less of a woman. 

Signs Reflecting That You May Need A Sex Therapy

Sex Therapy

Satisfying sex life should be enjoyed by everyone, but Several couples suffer from disconnected relationships that affect their sex life; chances are they do not know this. On the other hand, some might be aware but do not want to address the situation. When they do decide to talk about it people usually choose couples therapy. The approach will not be effective, because a dysfunctional relationship with sex as the underlying cause will need sex therapy as sex is a strong, yet fragile and fundamental part of every relationship. 

What is sex therapy?

Sex therapy is a form of therapy, where couples get to talk about deep-rooted issues affecting their sexual life. There are no boundaries here as couples can talk about anything from medical, physical, emotional, personal, and all other things that might be hindering sexual satisfaction. These issues may be past experiences or new ones that develop as the couple spends time together.

The therapy session will provide a comfortable atmosphere for couples to let out their stress, while they find ways to process the issues they are having and manage them better. That way, they can also channel in the changes in all area that requires it. Most physical activities involved will be done between you and your partner alone, so be ready to work to achieve the sex life you want. The therapist will just be there to guide you through it all. 

Also Read: Best Natural ways to Boost your Sex Drive

Signs your relationship need sex therapy 

Lack of intimacy

If intimacy is lacking in your relationship and it is causing a strain on your general life. Then as a couple, you need to go for sex therapy counseling. This is because many couples disregard the importance of such conversations when it might just be what will make their sex and relationship better. 

The sex just stopped happening

Over time, without noticing, couples stop having sex. They might stay for a long period without even thinking about having sex with each other. It is then easy for them to fall into a pattern of seeing themselves as acquaintances rather than lovers. If you are not comfortable with a sexless state in your relationship, then you should start seeking for remedy. This is because such situations are not part of a healthy relationship.

You see sex as obligatory 

Sex is supposed to bring pleasure to both parties. When sex no longer serves this purpose, it is an issue to watch out for. You might not notice it, but when the topic of sex is brought up you find an excuse to avoid it. A sense of peace passes through you when your partner doesn’t make sexual advances towards you, this is a red flag.

Orgasms are difficult to reach

If at the early stages of the union the orgasms were coming easily, but now,  you are struggling to get them; it might be a sign you need therapy. When this becomes known and both partners have tried different ways to help the situation but it doesn’t seem to be working, then it is only right for a sex therapist to take over. Also, if the situation is caused by a medical condition, or you naturally need extra help to reach orgasm, then you shouldn’t be so concerned with seeking therapy as an option. 

Obsession for sex

The way things get done is limited and so is sex. Sometimes people get so engrossed in sexual thoughts that they might not be able to function properly. They might find ways to disguise these feelings as normal desires. Most people may succeed in doing it until it becomes too obvious and starts affecting their life in general. To avoid getting to this stage therapy is needed. 

You both fight before or after sex

Most times after sex, you have negative feelings toward your partner based on issues relating to sex, or probably sex also makes you feel bad about yourself. You question your relationship and have resentment that leads to fights often after having sex with your partner. Then it is time you book a session with a sex therapist. To help dissect the pent-up resentment and doubts you might be having about sex with each other.

When the sex drive of your partner raises concern

This is common with couples because sexual partners cannot have the same sex drive. Fights may occur as you try to match and navigate the frequency of sex. This is because it takes compromises to be able to understand this despite being in love. A therapist can help couples better understand the situation, find ways to help partners make sexual encounters more exciting. They also help both parties be more comfortable with the refusal of their sexual advances; this way, the couple sees no reason to pick fights over sex.

In need of spice in your sex life

At some point or the other, couples may seek to add spice to their bedroom time but may not know how to go about it. If you are feeling like you and your partner are not exploring the full pleasures of sex, you may seek out some professional help. No one says sex therapists are for the bad times only, they can also help train on sex techniques, styles, tricks, and new things to try which will help couples explore new boundaries that spice up the sex in their relationship.

In summary, it is often the little things such as lack of sexual communication and not prioritizing intimacy with your partner which you may not pay attention to that will cause the relationship to deteriorate. When sex is off the table for long, it affects intimacy, which in turn will breed other issues for the relationship.

Sex therapy is the best approach to deal with all background issues that interfere with full sexual enjoyment. It can be achieved by honest communication from couples ready to try so they can improve their sex life.

Sexually Transmitted Infections | Causes & Prevention

Sexually Transmitted Disease

Most people live with Sexually transmitted infections (STI). The most common symptoms may or may not be prominent. They are not limited to these but include abnormal discharge from the urethra or vaginal, itching, and burning sensation. 

STIs are caused by the introduction and growth of viruses and bacteria. They are transmitted through sexual contacts, either by vaginal, oral, or anal sex. They can also spread through non-sexual encounters such as blood, infections objects, and mother to child during pregnancy, but most people are not aware that it influences sexual and reproductive health. Or they choose to ignore them because of the stigma often associated with the condition.

According to W.H.O “More than 1 million sexually transmitted infections are acquired every day worldwide. Each year, there are an estimated 376 million new infections with 1 of 4 STIs: chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and trichomoniasis”

Types of Sexually Transmitted Infections

Many types of STIs affect both males and females, but there are eight common types of infections that are widely spread. They are divided further into two categories based on the treatment available. These are Gonorrhoeic, Syphilis, Trichomoniasis, and Chlamydia which are all curable. The other four are Hepatitis B, Herpes, Human Immune Virus- HIV, and Human Papillomavirus- HPV which are all incurable.


This is caused by chlamydia trachomatis, which is spread through all forms of sex. Although, they do not usually show symptoms they affect fertility. When they show symptoms, they cause pain during urinating, abnormal rectal and vaginal discharge. These symptoms show within the first to the third week of getting infected. Several drugs like doxycycline and ofloxacin work as a treatment for it.


The treponema pallidum bacteria is responsible for syphilis-associated infections. It causes sores around the genitals and can have a more adverse effect on the body, including the heart and nervous system which can be deadly. Getting early treatment is the best way, to stop the development of this bacterium.


This is an STI with symptoms such as inflammation of the genitals, which can cause pain when urinating, unusual discharge, and itching. It is easily transmitted by body contact, and not only by sexual intercourse. Antibiotics are needed to rid the bacteria from your system.


Trich for short is caused by the trichomonas vaginalis bacteria, which is more common in females. This is because it is more prone to affect the vaginal rather than the urethra in males. Symptoms associated with this type of STI are, pain during sex, and pain when urination or ejaculation. It is transmitted through sex and contact with an infected vulva. Medications are available to treat this condition for partners.

HIV-Human Immune Virus

This is a virus that targets the immune system, which makes it weak and prone to other illnesses. It is life-threatening if not treated on time. It becomes present in all body fluids as it spreads. HIV is transmitted through sex and infected sharp objects. Although there is no cure, there are available treatments to help reduce the virus to a considerable amount. 

HPV-Human Papilloma virus

HPV is common with almost every sexually active woman. It is present in the cervix, anus, skin, and mouth. When found in the body, it increases the risk of cervical cancer amongst others. Even without showing any symptoms, a person can still transmit the virus through oral, vaginal, or anal sex, and also through genital contact. Getting the Hpv vaccine is the way to prevent getting infected.

Herpes simplex virus ( HSV 1 & 2)

It affects the genitals, skin, and other parts of the body. 

Hsv 1- affects the mouth with prominent sores. It is transmitted through oral sex, and an infected person can spread it through saliva.

Hsv 2- affects the genitals, mouth, and anal area. It is transmitted through any form of sex.

The common symptoms include fever and pain all over the body. It is incurable but can be managed with a daily dose of antiviral medications.

Hepatitis B

Hepatitis is a long-term infection that goes deep into the body and remains present in body fluids such as blood and semen. It can cause liver damage when it is in the body for long. Like others, they are transmitted through sexual intercourse, but can also be after one comes in contact with the open skin of an infected person. Vaccine and booster shots are available to handle this infection.

Also Read: How To Have Safe Sex When Allergic To Latex


How to Control & Prevent STIs

STIs are transmitted in different ways, this is why you should know the basic ways to prevent them.

Counseling and awareness 

Information is the key to preventing sexual infections. This is why counseling and therapy are important solutions to prevent these infections. Awareness talk about sexually transmitted infections should be taken seriously. This is the most effective way to know what to look out for such as, how they are transmitted, symptoms, and ways to protect yourself.

Protection method

These are ways to protect yourself from STIs. Male and female condoms should be used for vaginal and anal sex, while dental dams can be used for oral sex. Avoid sharing personal grooming products with people. You should not compromise with regards to items that can protect you rather than being exposed to infections.


Vaccines are available for some of these sexually transmitted infections. It is a great way to protect yourself against infections. So do not pass up the opportunity to get vaccinated.


The best way to prevent STIs is by practicing safe sex with tested partners. Although these measures are effective in preventing infections, you cannot be too sure of your safety as some of these can be transmitted through physical contact. This 

is why you should be aware of the types of STIs and get regular checkups. 

In conclusion, STIs are properly managed when they are diagnosed early. This is why regular screening is important as getting infected is common irrespective of your sexual hygiene and preferences. When diagnosed with a sexually transmitted infection, it is best to inform your partner because both partners will need to get treated to avoid a return of the infection.

Best Natural ways to Boost your Sex Drive

Boost Your Sex Drive

Knowing how to boost your sex drive is necessary. At the beginning of a new relationship, partners are more eager and excited about sex. It may be due to the fresh spark of attraction. Over time, having sex the same way will get boring – coupled with the sense of over-familiarity. The spark in the new relationship will diminish, and you begin to experience reduced sexual encounters. 

Factors like having kids, which shift the focus from intimacy to raising a family and keeping the home can contribute to the lack of sexual excitement

Another thing that can affect sex life is poor communication and not being intentional about your attraction to your partner. Sometimes it is caused by holding a grudge, from altercations and petty fights between both partners; the pressure from work and family can also affect thinking about sexual intercourse.  

Below are some of the ways to enhance your sexual life!

When sex begins to feel like a chore, it is a sign that an important element is needed to boost your sex drive.


Communicate to identify needs 

The first step to boost your sex life is having a conversation about it with your partner – your fantasies, your likes in bed, and sexual expectations; this way, you communicate your desires better.  

It might feel like a weird conversation to have, but it is essential. Such talk helps rid some of the bad blood while allowing you to discuss ways to be better for each other. Do not shy away from it if you are ready to boost your sex life.

It is through communication couples get to know what puts their partner in the mood. Kissing, relaxing, and soft caress are things you will know. It might be something little you do in a certain way that turns your partner on. If you don’t say what you want to done to you, it becomes a barrier to your sexual pleasures.

Find ways to increase intimacy

Couples who make an effort to enjoy their sex life, reduce excuses, and have regular sex, always have a better and more pleasurable sexual life. Try to be in tune with the sexual energy of your partner, while being flexible and open to go with the flow. On the other hand, it is not just sexual intercourse that increases intimacy. Physical acts of massages, touching, and cuddling does magic for certain people. 

Real intimacy is not just for the bedroom only. The relationship and connection couples have should reflect how intimate they are irrespective of their location. Making an effort will only yield results when you are truly present in the moment.

Also Read: Article on Benefits of Masturbation in your sex life!

Be adventurous

Search for exciting new things both of you can enjoy and bond over. Extreme activities can create dopamine which helps your brain spark up a romantic attraction that will lead to arousal and possibly sex. Couples can also choose to try role-plays to get their sexy characters on. When you are committed to the idea and have fun, the sex will feel different. Anyways, it is more effective if it is done on a getaway or an overnight stay at a new location. 

Go out on dates

Date nights are an old trick that holds the promise of boosting your sex life. Scheduled alone time that works for both parties should be a priority once in a while. Be creative with the dates so it rekindles the attraction; this might make the relationship seem pretty new while also making partners more comfortable to enjoy each other’s company. 

As it is expected, when one gets comfortable, they just might be willing to try new things to explore their pleasure. The goal here is making out time to sustain the intimacy and physical connection of the relationship.

Sex class

This is a new way to improve sex life. it is a fun way to enjoy sex play which presents an avenue to learn new ways to pleasure one another. Couples get introduced to new dimensions and probably the use of toys to elevate their sex life. It is best to schedule it for the weekend so you get the time to practice fresh sex positions and skills.

Be bold and sexy

Sensual acts can make one feel sexy; it’s best to invest free time in doing what will make you feel that way. This involves yoga exercises, dressing in sexy undergarments, a new hairstyle or dance step, and all other things that let you focus on your body, letting you view it as a masterpiece. Feeling sexy can increase your boldness, which may enable you to take charge and initiate sex. Take it up a notch, by exploring new locations and sex positions.

Aphrodisiac food to boost sex life           

Certain foods boost libido, and thus improves the sex life. Top of the list is oysters; this zinc-rich seafood has been known to raise your libido. It gets the blood flowing to the right places for sex. Meals rich in protein such as chicken, beef, and dairy products, work as well because of the amino acid they contain. Other options are apples, beetroots, nuts, and salmon. The drink choice should be a good red wine to help enhance sexual desires.

It is possible you do all of these and it still does not work out. Some sex experts suggest doing some Kegel exercise, watching porn or erotic movies together, dirty talking, and even masturbating while your partner watches. Doing these will extend foreplay and add spice to your sex life. 

In conclusion, Be in touch with the inner you, take care of your body. Learning on how to boost your sex drive might seem like so much work at first, but with time and commitment, the positive results will make it worth all the effort.

Which Sex Toy is suitable for me? Find it out!

If you’re reading this, you’re presumably interested in improving your sexual enjoyment — or at the very least, you’re inquisitive about techniques that may assist. Well, everyone is different, and our bodies’ demands change over time, so it’s fantastic that there’s such a diverse choice of items available to ensure that we all have access to sexual pleasure. Find out which sex toy is best suitable for you!

It might be frightening to walk into a sex shop, but nowadays you’re more likely to discover online sex toys stores like Loverrella

First thing first, make a note of what kind of sex you like and what turns you on; understanding yourself, at least a bit, is essential. Do you want to include a sex toy in a couples encounter or just utilize it for some solo time? Do you want anything for clitoral stimulation or vaginal penetration?  Is anal penetration a possibility? For a few key reasons, it’s beneficial to consider all of the above.

Loverrella got you two kinds of vibrator for now: Eggcite and Penguin.

Here are 3 Reasons to have Eggcite:


New Vibration Technology – the new Eggcite will have you arch your back and curl your toes from mesmerizing pleasure. Fitted with a more powerful vibration technology, our vulva vibrator comes with 7 speeds and 7 fluid and dynamic pulsation modes. Indulge yourself with our exclusive “Surprise Me” mode.

Irresistible Texture – Nothing replaces the touch of a lover but the Eggcite vibrator comes pretty close. Its silicone shell plumped up with silicone inside creates a voluptuous sensation on the vulva. Delicate yet intense, its velvety feel will make you feel pampered.

Palm Fit Vibrator – Designed for an instinctive grip and made to seamlessly enhance your pleasure moments, the eggcite love egg shape fits naturally in the palm of the hand. Covering the whole vulva, this elegant vibrator will sweep you off your feet with an sensorial experience that will leave you breathless


Now, let see another 3 Reasons to have Penguin:


Advanced Air pulsation Technology for Clitoral Stimulation – The Penguin features a suction technology that pulsates more air than leading products in the category. It has been optimized to create deep and resonant pulses, delivering a passionate sucking movement on your clitoris for body shaking orgasms. Silent during use, the technology is encapsulated in a baby pink penguin shape that has been crafted in velvety soft silicone for the smoothest touch on the body.

Personalized Pleasure – With the Penguin, create the best suction experience for YOU. This unique suction clit vibrator has been designed with 10 pulsation patterns. The penguin shape provides a comfortable grip in the hand and gives you the freedom to direct the product as you please. Whether you prefer soft and gentle or powerful and intense, or something in between – your next orgasm is just the push of a button away.

Smart Silence – The innovative Smart Silence Technology lets you indulge in your desire. Ready for spontaneous fun no matter where you are. This not only makes the Penguin quieter to use but keeps you in the moment without distraction


Eggcite and Penguin, both have their own specialty. Choose which one is the best for you and meet your needs?


How To Have Safe Sex When Allergic To Latex

How To Have Safe Sex When Allergic To Latex

Everyone does want to have Safe sex but Allergic reaction to latex is a thing and something every woman and man should be aware of; it is a condition that affects 1% of the population – making it very rare. Being allergic to latex means you will develop an allergic reaction to any material made from latex (condoms, rubber bands, gloves, and balloons).

Although both men and women might develop an allergic reaction to latex condoms, women are more susceptible. The reason is that the protein on the latex condom enters into the mucus membrane of the vagina easily during sex. Ordinarily, the protein from latex is not harmful but if your body detects it as harmful, it will trigger antibodies to fight – which is what causes the allergic reactions.

Also Read: The Best Birth Control Methods and Options

Symptoms of latex allergy

The most common symptoms that you might experience as a result of latex allergy are itching during and after sex, reddened skin (usually around the area exposed to latex), a rash or hives. If you have a severe allergy to latex, you could experience sneezing, a runny nose, difficulty breathing, or wheezing. For extremely serious allergic cases, anaphylaxis can occur –which is life-threatening.  

If you are one of the few women or men who suffer latex allergy, this doesn’t mean your sex life should suffer as well, there are many other options you can explore while having safe sex.

If you are certain you are experiencing latex allergy from a condom (the mild symptoms can be confused with a yeast infection), you should avoid latex condoms completely. Thankfully, latex is not the only type of condom available as it might have been tricky preventing pregnancy and STDs.

Other ways to have safe sex without latex condoms

Polyurethane condoms

The polyurethane condoms are made from thin plastics and not rubber, it also transmits body heat like latex. It offers similar protection in terms of safety but they are quite expensive and lack the tight fit of the latex condom, which means, it can easily slip off during sex.

Polyisoprene condoms

The polyisoprene condoms are made from synthetic rubber and lack the proteins present in the latex condoms that causes the allergic reactions you suffer. The polyisoprene condoms stretch better than the latex and also offer an equal level of prevention from STDs and pregnancy like the latex condoms.

Female condoms

The female condom is the only internal type of condom approved by the FDA. It is made from synthetic latex, making it a safe option for people who are latex intolerant. The condom which has one open end and one closed end is worn by the female; it goes into the vagina instead of over the penis. Although this feminine condom is safe with a 95% protection guarantee against pregnancy, it still falls short of the 98% contraception the male condom promises.

Lambskin condoms

The lambskin condoms are the only condoms made from natural animal products, they are made from sheep intestines and are perfectly safe for people who are allergic to latex. Although the lambskin condom is safe in terms of pregnancy, it has tiny porous holes big enough for viruses that cause STDs to pass through. The lambskin condom should only be used when you and your partner do not have to worry about STDs.

If you and your partner decide to skip condoms entirely but still want to enjoy safe sex, you should practice the following:

Constant STD testing

You can still enjoy safe sex with your partner even when condoms are not in play, but, one of the things both of you must do constantly is STD screening – bearing in mind that STDs are not only contracted via sexual intercourse. You should both get tested at least twice a year and avoid having sex when one partner seems to have any issue down there until things are back to normal.

Sticking to one partner

Also, if you decide to ditch condoms, you need to stick to having sex with only one partner – and they must also be with you alone. Moving from partner to partner without condoms leaves you vulnerable to viruses, STDs, and pregnancy.

Family planning

Sticking to one partner and constant testing prevents STDs but not pregnancy. Depending on withdrawal method as a way of preventing pregnancy is too risky and constantly using the morning after pill messes up the woman’s hormone. The best way to eliminate unwanted pregnancy for couples not using condoms is by getting family planning. 

There are various options for both the man and the woman – more for the woman though. You and your partner can sit down and look for the best family planning option suitable for you.

Being latex intolerant shouldn’t affect your sexual life as there are other options available that are safe, enjoyable, and effective. If you are concerned about having a latex allergy, see your doctor. They will carry out a test using skin or blood samples to confirm.

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